Vogon Poetry Slam!

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Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Borat Obomba » Fri May 09, 2008 18:33 UTC

there once was a server named Vogon,
whose games I would constantly go on,
a big part of my life,
that pissed off my wife,
and now I have to go fix the eavestroughs.
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Sat May 10, 2008 08:15 UTC

I'll follow your lead on that one, Borat. :)

There once was a player named Mordock
Who stood as tall as a cornstalk,
But if you would sail
In the path of his rail,
Then splattered, you'd be, on the sidewalk.
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Sat May 10, 2008 08:17 UTC

Limericks are great for fun poetry. Just thought of another one!

The Vogon server isn't free,
But that sure as hell don't bother me.
If you feel the same,
Then I'll see you in game,
And you'll make friends with my BFG.

:D
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Sat May 10, 2008 08:27 UTC

Damn, I just thought of another one!!

Cheaters ruin gameplay and spoil it.
Vogon rules; why would you soil it?
Don't know about you,
I've construction to do:
'Scuse me whilst I go fix the toilet.

CROSs will understand that one. :)
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby ES*StickMaN » Sat May 10, 2008 09:47 UTC

Ok since we are posting poems here.. hows this one..

VOGON is cool,
but you know the rule…
Don’t get caught cheating,
or be made the fool.

Because Fubar is lurking,
or maybe its skid…
Recording a demo,
of all that you did.

So that all admins,
can give their review…
Of all the evidence,
that was gathered on you.

So don’t even try it,
is all we can say…
Take your Aimbots and Wallhacks,
and throw them away.

Players are friendly,
but if you are rude…
You will get muted,
We're not in the mood.

For drama or trouble,
or those with a plan…
And repeat offenders,
will be permanently banned.

Some think we are Nazis,
or we do not care…
But we do it for the players,
so all can play fair.

The servers of VOGON,
are the best you can find…
There's not much we ask of you,
except don’t cheat and be kind.

ES*StickMaN :megagrin:
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Sat May 10, 2008 15:12 UTC

Stick, that was awesome! :D
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Gumby » Sat May 10, 2008 19:18 UTC

yeah stick I have to admint, that was awesome, that should be the official Vogon pledge!
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Stacie » Sat May 10, 2008 21:48 UTC

ES*StickMaN wrote:Ok since we are posting poems here.. hows this one..

VOGON is cool,
but you know the rule…
Don’t get caught cheating,
or be made the fool.

Because Fubar is lurking,
or maybe its skid…
Recording a demo,
of all that you did.

So that all admins,
can give their review…
Of all the evidence,
that was gathered on you.

So don’t even try it,
is all we can say…
Take your Aimbots and Wallhacks,
and throw them away.

Players are friendly,
but if you are rude…
You will get muted,
We're not in the mood.

For drama or trouble,
or those with a plan…
And repeat offenders,
will be permanently banned.

Some think we are Nazis,
or we do not care…
But we do it for the players,
so all can play fair.

The servers of VOGON,
are the best you can find…
There's not much we ask of you,
except don’t cheat and be kind.


There is my dose of win for the week.
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Sun May 11, 2008 04:29 UTC

Shit, I just got served! I'm done! :lol:
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby XtremKiller » Sun May 11, 2008 06:36 UTC

Hey come in ventriol server . I am waiting
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Executor » Mon May 12, 2008 00:41 UTC

Guys that was just awesome - Stick - crazy man :DD
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Mon May 12, 2008 05:07 UTC

I was trying to think of a way to get all Shakespearean on you guys, but I just can't come up with anything decent in iambic pentameter. Just doesn't seem Quakish.

To Vogon I shall go,
To Vogon I shall go~
Uh-oh, Paganeo:
Log in, and here we go!

I'll frag you all and leave,
And take the flag with me~
Doesn't work, you camping jerk!
It's back to base for me!

I'm back at base and now,
My flag is gone somehow~
Stick's on red, and now I'm dead
ES is on the prowl!

Now Crowley's on a run,
And having too much fun~
We bounce around; who needs the ground?
And finally, I got one!

Success, though, is short-lived,
My skill is like a sieve,
Ally's tagged, and now I'm fragged;
My team went to the priv?

Back to reality,
My wife just smiles at me~
"Next time, dear, you'll kick some rear!"
The Vogon life's for me! :lol:
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby mordockdotcom » Mon May 12, 2008 10:41 UTC

IriDeck wrote:I'll follow your lead on that one, Borat. :)

There once was a player named Mordock
Who stood as tall as a cornstalk,
But if you would sail
In the path of his rail,
Then splattered, you'd be, on the sidewalk.


very nice... and very true...
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Executor » Mon May 12, 2008 14:54 UTC

LOL still loving this thread!
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Wed May 14, 2008 03:28 UTC

C'mon, Borat, give us some more hilarity!
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Borat Obomba » Wed May 14, 2008 13:45 UTC

Oh ho, what's this? I have been summoned for hilarity'? Oh, my friend, you shall have hilarity. To my workshop!
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Wed May 14, 2008 19:32 UTC

Heehee! He's off to construct some wickedly funny thing, with which to amuse us all! Buahahahahaaaaa~
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby ES*StickMaN » Wed May 14, 2008 23:42 UTC

This is a really good thread here
I understand forums are quite often used to resolve issues or whatever but It would be cool if we had more positive ;) topics like this one instead of so many negative :fuckoff: discusions

Just a thought anyway

i was gonna write a poem out of that but my brain is blank today (and i dont have time) :megagrin:

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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Stacie » Fri May 16, 2008 08:00 UTC

I need one for me done by [email protected]
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Skwisgaar » Fri May 16, 2008 23:15 UTC

Wow... this thread is legendary!

Expect to hear one from me :P
The right ideas just need to come to mind at the right time...
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Sat May 17, 2008 03:05 UTC

From my wife, on Valentine's Day 2 yrs ago:

"Roses are red, violets are blue, and I can't rhyme this early in the morn, dammit."

:)
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Borat Obomba » Mon May 26, 2008 13:38 UTC

The original Vogon poetry!

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly binglewurgles,
For I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!

...and one I made up...

See, see the nice sky
Marvel at its big clear depths.
Tell me, frog do you
Wonder why the rat cat ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel horny.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your chom facial growth
That looks like
A spotted dick.
What's more, it knows
Your spotted dick potting shed
Smells of frog.
Everything under the big nice sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm wet dogs.

Want to make one up yourself? go here...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/vogonpoetry/lettergen.shtml
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby ES*StickMaN » Mon May 26, 2008 14:50 UTC

wow for a minute i thought you were way out in left field with that post :crazy2: until i clicked the link at the bottom and saw what it actually was... :alien:

dam you had me going there for a minute.... lol :megagrin:

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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Thu Jun 05, 2008 05:46 UTC

I'd have to say that one of my favourites, though I cannot remember the author, is this one:

Candy
falling softly through the asphalt
slimy,
tiny chunklets of resinous goo splatter on my face,
and I am smiling,
with the doves of three thousand guitars.

Who was it that shingled my roof

again?

Please don't interrupt me.
I am licking the sweat from the Buddha
as he stuffs a lollipop into the kind gravel,
and I am smiling,
with the doves of three thousand guitars.

As leaves blow in paint,
I shimmy against the rail of my subconscious,
smelling the path of bubbled glass,

GRATED
CHEESE

and I make friends
as we fry the candy corn sunset
and smile with the
doves

of three thousand and one guitars.
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Pwn » Thu Jun 05, 2008 06:14 UTC

Grapple Poem!
Hey ES*stacie this ones for you.
Not having the grapple is ok its true.
Its used to glide through the air and the grass.
When taken away they blow fire out their ass!
Dyn im sorry i feel your pain.
Either way you go you have no true gain.
The grapple is good.
its relied on to much
Its fun on occasion but requires great touch!
This is to all you haters.
The complainers of the great.
That ill shoot you when it is too little too late.
So fuck this im through
good night to you all
and peace be with you!
xD yay!
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Stacie » Thu Jun 05, 2008 06:46 UTC

That's so sweet of you! Thank you.
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Thu Jun 05, 2008 15:58 UTC

Pwn and I have had some great fun
Using gauntlet on CHAOS, on not only one
occasion but several, multiple times,
though it's considered, by many, a crime.

Many, it seems, take winning to heart,
and forget the whole "having fun" part
of the game we all share, and kick ass on,
no, hook isn't required for all things VOGON.

Tell that to most, though, and your head's gone;
poor Dyn gets no peace without the hook on.
Still, though, the best players shine right on through,
Hook or no hook, they're out to get you!

That's okay, though, 'cause we're all retards.
Just ask the server; it's there in the cards.
I also like to jump on Instacheese,
Where Stacie will frag you right to your knees.

Gojira will do it, too, though I have not
Been on there with him in time to be shot.
All in all, though, still I confess:
The VOGON servers are still the best!
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Stacie » Thu Jun 05, 2008 21:12 UTC

Everyone wants a piece of me in their poems!
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby IriDeck » Fri Jun 06, 2008 04:15 UTC

Hey, I can't help the fact that you're one of the best players on Instakill. Watching you rail people out of the sky is dizzying.
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Re: Vogon Poetry Slam!

Postby Stacie » Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:21 UTC

Chris Redfield: 'Just relax and play.'
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