Genuine Letters Of Complaint

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Genuine Letters Of Complaint

Postby SD » Thu Mar 31, 2011 18:19 UTC

These are extracts from genuine complaint letters received by local Council authorities from their tenants throughout the UK -


1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2 He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it anymore.

3. It's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.

4. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

5. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it had backfired and burnt my knob off.

6. And their 16 yr old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

9. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job to satisfy my wife.

10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

12. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have 2 children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

15. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

16. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6 a.m. his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

18. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly, then he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

19. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about he noise made by the man on top of me every night.

21. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor 6 times but I still have no satisfaction.

23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can’t get BBC2.

Things like this make me smile :)
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Re: Genuine Letters Of Complaint

Postby AG » Thu Mar 31, 2011 19:02 UTC

haha
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Re: Genuine Letters Of Complaint

Postby dyn » Thu Mar 31, 2011 22:23 UTC

Very funny!

"14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared." :-D
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Re: Genuine Letters Of Complaint

Postby [PB]Willy Wonka » Thu Mar 31, 2011 22:41 UTC

lllllloooooooollllllllll

9. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job to satisfy my wife.
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Re: Genuine Letters Of Complaint

Postby Apocalypse » Fri Apr 01, 2011 00:14 UTC

2 He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it anymore.


LMAO
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Re: Genuine Letters Of Complaint

Postby IJ » Fri Apr 01, 2011 13:39 UTC

lol, awesome
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Re: Genuine Letters Of Complaint

Postby QueenKimmy » Sat Apr 02, 2011 05:11 UTC

just a funny i came across:


Prince Williams stag party is going to be a bit weird...imagine stuffing pictures of your gran into a lap dancers knickers...
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