JOKE TIME!

Fun stuff

JOKE TIME!

Postby Pwn » Tue Jul 01, 2008 06:08 UTC

Seems humor is down a bit lately. So i've decided to start a thread all about jokes! Post any kinds of jokes or what not here. Something to brighten ones day and make it great.



1st Joke- (might not be funny to all but some will understand) -- What do you call an Irismurf with rail quad?.........................................................................................................................................................................
............... A shotgun bot with quad on steroids in a small map! <------- :DD Or what do you call a console talking to you in game on ctf?..................................................... [email protected]'s daily rants and his magical bag of insults!
Pwn
 
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 20:36 UTC

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby AG » Tue Jul 01, 2008 06:42 UTC

why did the pig do so well in hollywood.

because he was a little ham.

...with quadfly in a small room.
User avatar
AG
Former Admin
 
Posts: 2366
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 18:25 UTC
Location: Texas
Favorite map: q3dm17
Server: INSTAKILL
Website: http://vogonhq.com

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby Pwn » Tue Jul 01, 2008 06:46 UTC

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
Pwn
 
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 20:36 UTC

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby VAT » Tue Jul 01, 2008 10:08 UTC

yeahh....make some jokes....life is funny enough..
User avatar
VAT
 
Posts: 328
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 18:19 UTC
Server: FFA

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby mordockdotcom » Tue Jul 01, 2008 10:51 UTC

haha, Wonder Bread
mordockdotcom
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 21:18 UTC
Location: Casper, Wyoming, USA
Server: CTF

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby IriDeck » Tue Jul 01, 2008 14:28 UTC

[email protected] wrote:what do you call a player on CTF that shoots his own team mates........

PwnSmurf smokin crack and jones'in for more xD


Heheheheh......either that, or IriSmurf going schizo...
I wonder if there's a Q3 skin of Psycho, the straitjacket weasel from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?...probably not. Shdangit.
User avatar
IriDeck
Former Admin
 
Posts: 1264
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 14:02 UTC
Location: Georgia, USA
Favorite map: Q3DM17
Server: TDM

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby IriDeck » Tue Jul 01, 2008 14:30 UTC

Which is why Pwny and I always lose when Friendly Fire is on. But then again, we also have more fun than anyone else, so it all pans out. :lol:
User avatar
IriDeck
Former Admin
 
Posts: 1264
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 14:02 UTC
Location: Georgia, USA
Favorite map: Q3DM17
Server: TDM

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby Pwn » Tue Jul 01, 2008 15:20 UTC

[email protected] wrote:what do you call a player on CTF that shoots his own team mates........

PwnSmurf smokin crack and jones'in for more xD


:evil2:

Vogon Admin | | Moderator


xD since when do i shoot my own teammates? I mean its not like i grapple to infinity ally or iri and gauntlet them across the map with quad or anything i mean geeze? does this whole console change the perspective of the view? :DD :megagrin:
Pwn
 
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 20:36 UTC

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby Infinity » Tue Jul 01, 2008 17:38 UTC

There are three woman at the hospital that just had a baby. As they wait in line the doctor says came in one at a time and you can get your baby. The first woman walks in and picks up her baby and looks at them. The doctor says, i know what you are ma'am. Your addicted to alcohol, you named your baby brandy. She look down in ashamed and left the room. The next woman walks in and grabs her baby. And as she starts to play with it, the doctor says i know what you are. Your addicted to food, you named your baby Candy. She looks down in ashame and walks off. The last woman walks in and looks at her baby. Picks him up and heads towards the door. The doctor says whoa ma'am i know what your addicted to. She smiles at him and says C'mon dick lets go home.

hahaha funny shit right right CMON ITS FUNNY!!!!
Infinity
 

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby Pwn » Tue Jul 01, 2008 18:07 UTC

lol only infinity would post that joke! xD
And guys can someone translate i cant understand what the console ([email protected]) says to me in game. That damn console speaks too much Canadian. xD
Pwn
 
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 20:36 UTC

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby =RS= » Tue Jul 01, 2008 20:46 UTC

F
User avatar
=RS=
Former Admin
 
Posts: 426
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 13:51 UTC
Location: Liverpool uk
Favorite map: any1
Server: CTF

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby XtremKiller » Tue Jul 08, 2008 07:57 UTC

A child says to his mother, "Mom there is a good news and a bad news.which one would you like to listen first?" mother said"the good news" the child says the good news is That i will not see tv from today. the mother says oh very good . what's the bad news? the child says my ball hit the tv and its glass broke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User avatar
XtremKiller
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:37 UTC
Location: Beside Bathroom Near the Bed Room

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby XtremKiller » Tue Jul 08, 2008 08:15 UTC

Teacher: Students, draw a diagram of a bacteria. Student: Here it is, sir. Teacher: Where is the diagram? You have not drawn anything. Student: Sir, can you see bacteria without a microscope?
User avatar
XtremKiller
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:37 UTC
Location: Beside Bathroom Near the Bed Room

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby XtremKiller » Tue Jul 08, 2008 08:17 UTC

Fubar : What’s the weather like outside? Irideck: I don’t know. It’s so cloudy that I can’t see anything.
User avatar
XtremKiller
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:37 UTC
Location: Beside Bathroom Near the Bed Room

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby XtremKiller » Tue Jul 08, 2008 08:18 UTC

Fubar : If a dog without teeth bites you, what would you do? Pwn : I will take an injection without a needle.
:lol:
User avatar
XtremKiller
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:37 UTC
Location: Beside Bathroom Near the Bed Room

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby XtremKiller » Tue Jul 08, 2008 08:18 UTC

Fubar : If a dog without teeth bites you, what would you do? Pwn : I will take an injection without a needle.
:lol:
User avatar
XtremKiller
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:37 UTC
Location: Beside Bathroom Near the Bed Room

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby XtremKiller » Tue Jul 08, 2008 08:23 UTC

A Teacher ASKED ABOY "NAME ANY TEN BIRDS" The boy ansered "SEVEN PARROTS AND THREE PEACOCKS.

Son-Father, Today I saves 1 Dollar . Father-Wonderful!I am proud of you my son.Anyway how did you do it. Son-I was late for my bus.So i ran behind the bus and thus i saved. Father You Fool Then You could run behind a taxi and save 100 Dollar
User avatar
XtremKiller
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:37 UTC
Location: Beside Bathroom Near the Bed Room

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby Pwn » Wed Jul 09, 2008 05:17 UTC

lol.
im glad to see that the thread is still alive with jokes. (even though some are very cheesy!).
and im sad to see my arch nemisis [email protected] is defeating me as it seems jokes are being aimed at him beating me someway! NOT TRUE PEOPLE! TRY THE OTHER WAY AROUND! lol xD
Havent been on as much lately.
Been really busy and the family is having some problems.
so see you in game if im on ever in the near future.

Peace,
PWN
Pwn
 
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 20:36 UTC

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby IriDeck » Thu Jul 10, 2008 15:01 UTC

A business man gets on an elevator. When he enters, a lady who's already inside greets him with a bright, "T-G-I-F!"

He smiles at her and replies, "S-H-I-T."

She looks puzzled and repeats,

"T-G-I-F," more slowly.

He again answers, "S-H-I-T."

The lady is trying to keep it friendly, so she smiles her biggest smile, and says as sweetly as possible, "T-G-I-F."

The man smiles back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."

The exasperated lady finally decides to explain. "'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Hello!"

The man answers, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday.'"
User avatar
IriDeck
Former Admin
 
Posts: 1264
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 14:02 UTC
Location: Georgia, USA
Favorite map: Q3DM17
Server: TDM

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby AG » Thu Jul 10, 2008 16:17 UTC

why are fish so smart

because they live in schools
User avatar
AG
Former Admin
 
Posts: 2366
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 18:25 UTC
Location: Texas
Favorite map: q3dm17
Server: INSTAKILL
Website: http://vogonhq.com

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby Pwn » Thu Jul 10, 2008 16:28 UTC

lmfao some more cheesy jokes HIOORAH FOR CHEESYNESS!
Pwn
 
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 20:36 UTC

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby AG » Thu Jul 10, 2008 18:12 UTC

so hook, quadfly, telebomb, and gauntlet walk into a bar.

...or they would have, but all the bar patrons demanded that THEY. BE. TURNED. OFF. IMMEDIATELY.

vogon topical humor lolz
User avatar
AG
Former Admin
 
Posts: 2366
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 18:25 UTC
Location: Texas
Favorite map: q3dm17
Server: INSTAKILL
Website: http://vogonhq.com

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby Executor » Thu Jul 10, 2008 18:23 UTC

:D
:DD
Executor
 

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby AG » Thu Jul 10, 2008 18:35 UTC

XtremKiller wrote:Fubar : What’s the weather like outside? Irideck: I don’t know. It’s so cloudy that I can’t see anything.


Holy crap.

I just got this.
User avatar
AG
Former Admin
 
Posts: 2366
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 18:25 UTC
Location: Texas
Favorite map: q3dm17
Server: INSTAKILL
Website: http://vogonhq.com

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby Kitty » Wed Jul 16, 2008 19:17 UTC

I didnt know for sure where to post this...but here goes...
This is a video of my son....getting attacked by a duck, probably in heat...lol...hope it was female
:DD

http://s178.photobucket.com/albums/w252/jojenn_bucket/?action=view&current=07-11-08_1833.flv
User avatar
Kitty
Former Admin
 
Posts: 443
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 15:42 UTC

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby IriDeck » Wed Jul 16, 2008 20:50 UTC

A lawyer and a redneck are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that rednecks are so dumb that he could get one over on this guy pretty easy, so the lawyer asks if the redneck would like to play a fun game. The redneck is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the redneck's attention and he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?' The redneck doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the redneck's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The lawyer uses his laptop, & searches all references. He uses the airphone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.

After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the redneck and hands him $500.
The redneck pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the redneck up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'

The redneck reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
User avatar
IriDeck
Former Admin
 
Posts: 1264
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 14:02 UTC
Location: Georgia, USA
Favorite map: Q3DM17
Server: TDM

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby IriDeck » Wed Jul 16, 2008 20:54 UTC

Kitty, I think that was a male duck. He seemed territorial, and it looked like he was trying to spur your son. Were you videotaping? I was already chuckling, but you were laughing so hard you snorted. That's when I lost it! :lol:
User avatar
IriDeck
Former Admin
 
Posts: 1264
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 14:02 UTC
Location: Georgia, USA
Favorite map: Q3DM17
Server: TDM

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby mordockdotcom » Thu Jul 17, 2008 21:44 UTC

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?












Half a cat

:)
mordockdotcom
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 21:18 UTC
Location: Casper, Wyoming, USA
Server: CTF

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby IriDeck » Thu Jul 17, 2008 21:53 UTC

mordockdotcom wrote:What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

:)


...or the lower half of a human. :twisted:
User avatar
IriDeck
Former Admin
 
Posts: 1264
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 14:02 UTC
Location: Georgia, USA
Favorite map: Q3DM17
Server: TDM

Re: JOKE TIME!

Postby AG » Thu Jul 17, 2008 23:08 UTC

IriDeck wrote:
mordockdotcom wrote:What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

:)


...or the lower half of a human. :twisted:


...or my girlfriend when she gives me lip.

RIMSHOT!
User avatar
AG
Former Admin
 
Posts: 2366
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 18:25 UTC
Location: Texas
Favorite map: q3dm17
Server: INSTAKILL
Website: http://vogonhq.com

Next

Return to Humor

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: CommonCrawl [Bot] and 0 guests